If you look good, you generally feel good, too. Few things raise the spirit like newly coiffed hair and a freshly laundered shirt. However, when people are depressed, personal hygiene and grooming are often the first daily activities to fall by the wayside. This can lead to a vicious circle in which the depressed person sinks even lower due to a negative self-image, which robs her of the impetus to bathe and dress neatly.

As aging fingers lose their flexibility, and as arthritis or other aging-related ailments rob us of our former strength, the simple act of dressing and grooming can prove more and more difficult. Helping your elder look and smell fresh everyday can be a great boost to her self-esteem. However, when an elder is totally dependent on someone else to keep her clean and well-dressed, she can experience a deep loss of independence, so be sure to offer assistance for as long as possible, rather than taking over the work for her.

The comments above also apply to caregivers. While you are busy taking care of your elder's physical needs, don't forget about yourself. To keep up your own spirits, it's important that you take the time to pamper yourself. Book a day of respite care and treat yourself to a spa, or simply lounge in a bubble bath and listen to your favorite radio station.

Bathing

It may not be necessary for your elder to bathe everyday, but try to encourage her to wash her face, underarms and genital area daily. She may have a personal preference for a bath or a shower, and be sure to respect her wishes here; there are ways you can assist with either activity. People suffering from Alzheimer's often lose their depth perception, and may fear drowning in a bathtub. If this is the case, only fill up the tub half way or, if you can, find a brightly colored slip mat for the bottom. Install handrails next to the bath to make it easier for your elder to lower herself in and out, and avoid any oil-based bath lotions which can make feet and hands slippery. Be sure to give your elder the privacy she wants while bathing, but don't stray too far in case she needs your assistance.

Grooming

The following grooming tips will help you keep your elder looking and feeling her best.

Keep her hair in an easy-to-manage style. Be sure to respect her wishes in this. For example, if she's always had long hair and will share in the duties of caring for it, don't force her to have it cut. If going to the hair salon was an important part of her former routine, continue taking her, or if this becomes difficult, talk to the salon about home visits. A number of residential nursing homes offer this service, and it may be something you want to bear in mind when selecting a care facility, if the need arises.
It's not easy to shave someone else, so work with your father to help him shave himself. You may both find that an electric razor is the best way to go.
If you notice any stray facial hairs on your mother, help her pluck them out or, if this is too painful, shave gently and apply some moisturizing cream once you're finished.
A woman who has always used make-up will feel better about herself if she continues to use it. (Broken facial veins can be disguised with a light pancake make-up.) Make sure your elder has a supply of her everyday make-up.
Don't forget teeth and oral hygiene. Encourage brushing twice a day. Most importantly, encourage your elder to visit the dentist twice a year. An electric toothbrush is sometimes easier to use, but have your dentist or dental hygienist show your mother the best way to use it. If your elder has dentures, encourage continued care and regular check ups as ill-fitting dentures can cause mouth sores.
Dressing

Clothing for elders should be easy to put on, wear and remove. Just because your elderly father may not leave the house very often, it is still important to his self-esteem that he look his best. Keep clothing up-to-date, clean, color-coordinated and neat. If you as a caregiver do the shopping, opt for comfortable fabrics such as cotton rather than wool, which can often be "scratchy" on sensitive skin. The ideal clothing is non-restrictive, wrinkle-proof and machine washable. If your mother likes to wear the same clothes every day, consider getting several pieces of an item so she can at least wear clean clothes.

Encourage your elder to devote just a few minutes of everyday taking care of her physical appearance - you'll find it does wonders for her self-esteem.